the failure

i want to close my eyes and close my heart from everything and anything makes me unbearable

the more i want to be closed, the more things happen make it wide open again

2013 is so much failure in my life

failed jpj and only got the license on march

failed to get straight As for SPM 2012, result on march

failed in the subject of my foundation, most of it. 

failed to drive more far away even tho got license

failed in the relationship in october 

then failed to wake up without any regret

failed to keep away the depress
failed to study in the holiday

its kinda sad actually cause everytime i fall in love, they will left me.

that's why i'm afraid to get fall again and i promise no more love after this

then, its failed again. now, i need to stand up and tell myself

"no one loves you ain, no one will stay by yourside forever. 

stop to care and don't be royal anymore.be loyal doesn't change anything.

nobody will understand you when you failed in communication.

they're not mind reader when you just keep shut, they'll never understand the real feelings.

wake up ain. no one will love you. no one."

today is the end of 2013, i need to end all the failure that happened.
goodbye 2013, rest in peace.
don't haunt me in the future, please.

i hate this

every night i've got nightmare

every night & i really hate it

cause everytime i wake up,

it's miserable and unbearable

i just don't know how to end this mess

and everything bad in my head

this depression really make me worse day by day.

sedar tak sedar

semua orang nak kebahagiaan, semua orang taknak kesedihan
semua orang nak kemewahan, semua orang taknak kepapaan

cuma sedar tak sedar dengan kebahagian dan kemewahan yang dimiliki itu
sama ada mendekatkan kepada Allah atau menjauhkan dan menghanyutkan

bila dalam kesedihan dan kepapaan yang ditimpa diri
baru lah nak menadah tangan berdoa agar diberi kekuatan

cuma sedar tak sedar dengan kesedihan dan kepapaan yang ditimpa itulah
sebenarnya membina kekuatan dan ketabahan menghadapi kehidupan



semua orang nak kejayaan, semua orang taknak kegagalan
tapi sedar tak sedar sebenarnya kegagalan itu pemangkin semangat menuju kejayaan

sedar tak sedar masa itu pantas berlalu
dan sedar tak sedar juga
kebahagian kemewahan dan kejayaan kita miliki itu mungkin menjadi kesedihan kepapaan dan kegagalan untuk orang lain.

namun betapa kejamnya dan durjananya kau apabila
kau mahukan kebahagiaan kau dengan cara kau beri orang lain kesedihan
kau mahukan kemewahan kau dengan cara kau beri orang lain kepapaan
kau mahukan kejayaan kau dengan cara kau beri orang lain kegagalan
sedar tak sedar, suatu hari nanti kau akan kehilangan segalanya
kerana kehidupan kita ibarat roda dan kau akan hadapinya juga nanti

this is my fate

 

honestly, i know

i don't deserve to be liked or to be loved.

at the end, they will get hurt.
so i deserve to be left by them.

i'm sorry for those who is hurts because of me.
i just don't know how to say how i feel
i just dont know how to show how i feel

i am sorry.

lets hide. everything.

selalu

ya, aku selalu jadi macam ini sebab tu aku terasa dengan video clip ni sebenarnya   ayat sentap "while you busy trying to fit in, imma stand out" "can even you exist"   mungkin aku lampi sangat mungkin kesusahan aku percaya kat manusia lain  mungkin kan dia dah fedup dan menyampah     tapi mengapa pergi masa aku mula percaya? ya, selalu jadi macam ini dan aku ta serik lagi  masih menunggu walau kebenarannya terpampang depan mata    

“the truth is hurts, but assume bout the truth more painful
cause you don't know either it is right or wrong. ”

my fault being too late to realize

happen to me all the time.

tapi aku tak berani nak cakap macam tu depandepan 

need a lot of time hehehe

sedar diri

"some things are best left unexplained"

kadangkadang, kita kena sedar sendiri.

sebab apa?
sebab mungkin kebenaran itu payah dikatakan
mungkin begitu memeritkan dan mengecewakan

tapi bila ketahui sendiri
peritnya sakitnya tidak dapat digambarkan dengan katakata

tapi itu lah konsep kebenaran
kena terima dalam apa jua keadaan

musuh yang sebenar adalah diri sendiri
untuk terus menyakiti hati atau biarkan ia berlalu pergi

jika sudah berlalu lah pergi
jangan pernah datang kembali

harapan

harapan, suatu perkataan yang misteri.

sebab apa?
sebab harapan ini muncul tanpa diundang, tanpa diduga dan tanpa diketahui

harapan ini bahaya.

sebab apa?
sebab harapan boleh mendatangkan kebahagiaan dan mengundang kesengsaraan.

kalau sudah dikatakan

“taknak letak harapan apa-apa ”

buat apa masih menunggu?
sedarlah wahai diri, sudah terang lagi bersuluh apa lagi yang diharapkan?

strong

“you never know how strong you are until being strong is only choice you have ”   

you may think that i am strong enough i can't be hurts again i won't feel the pain again  i wouldn't fall again    based on, how much you learn to be strong how much you learn to forgetting how much you learn to hating how much you learn to ignoring   but, there's always reach one simple point that may collapse everything  that may make you feel you're dying again   sometimes, you really need someone to talk bout it to make you feel relieve to make you feel alive again to make you feel you needed    the truth is all you need is yourself yourself is the nearest enemy that you need to know so you would kill them when they try to let you down by remembering things that pointless and useless   frankly, it is much easier than ever when there is someone helps you get up and wake up from our own nightmare    look straight through my eyes, do i really being strong right now?

l o v e

love is a gift

love is something delightful

but it can be painful

depends how people handle it 

love is something that
we can't predict how it comes
 we can't predict how it ends
we can't predict how it develops


love comes without any reason
loves ends without any reason

time shouldn't be measured
time shouldn't be questioned
time shouldn't be blamed

cause power of love
no one can't deny

“i am falling ”

the light

we always need the light
when we're been stuck in the middle of darkness

the darkness in ourself

the darkness of jealousy

 but how we can find the light if we still searching for the darkness?
how can we feel the happiness if we keep on dreaming the sadness?

why people always want to ruin the light that we already achieve?
why people always want to collapse the happiness that we already gain?

are you happy by acting like a devil?
by ruin others happiness

happiness is not easy to earn
it grows slowly and develops day by day
somehow, it can be vanish by a tiny little reason and ridiculous

sadness, once you step into it
it takes 10 times effort to get out from there
keep walking even slow and dont ever think to stop
or else you need more than just 10 times effort

everybody have their own history
don't easily judge people
don't easily put others down
cause we live like a wheel