its complicated

but i nvr wanted to be this way
to end this way

"not complete each other"
"not longer serasi"

why you only hear yr opinion?
do you think i am happy with yr decision?

why you only respond when i said i gave up?

as long as you happy tho.
but im not.
i'm dying inside craving for your present but you can't see it
because you only think "im only bring you sadness and pain"

sayang, i want you.

imagination

perhaps first move is always the hardest part.
especially let yr half of yr life knows tht
you're letting go.

so i choose to stay on my own
with imagination tht he still mine.

with my imagination
he still need me
he still miss me
he still love me
he still want me
he still hold me

this imagination really hurts.
living in my own fantasy
might bring me happiness again.

broken

she's feeling blue
good girl now gone

perhaps,
cigarrete may be the start.

they dont really exist

true love?
this shit doesnt exist.

the love grow so slowly
but it will be crushed
within one word
within one second
within one lie
within one action
or with a rejection without words

don't put yourself in this
pathetic kind of sadness
they believe whatever you say
but they don't really what happened,
in the inside.

trust no one
trust no boys
trust no love
trust nothing

because too much you giving
no one will appreciate it
at the end, its a great grief.

darkest desire

cigarette and cut myself
seems to be so
attractive right now.

someone pls save me.
but i didnt let anyone know that,
how can they save me?

after all,
no one cares.

one day

im telling myself that everything's gonna be okay

one day it will be the way like it used to be

one day i will get the answers of my questions 

one day this kind of sadness will be over

one day you will stop ignoring me 

one day you will text me "i miss your voice. can i call you?" 

one day you will say that you regret ignoring me

one day you will cry just to get an apology

one day you will come over my place just to see my face

one day you will text me until your eyes barely open

one day you will say that you miss me so much

one day you will comfort me whenever i was breakdown with life

one day you will make some random jokes just to cheer me up

im waiting this "one day" 

im holding on 

im crying 

i believe this "one day" will come

every time i wake up and going to bed,

all can think is you. 

but this "one day"

will never come true

will never be my day

will never ever be happen

because you're letting go

because you're forgetting me

because im not longer a matter to you

because you dont hv the guts to tell me,

"its over between us. i dont love you anymore"

and im right here,

still wondering why.